Category Archives: Pictures

Eric Cadwell’s Bachelor Party

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My friend Eric is getting married on Friday and we had his bachelor’s party last night.

During the party, we had some fun with image stitching. (click to zoom)


Eric enjoys some target practice out in Finley.


The guys nearly got into a fight with themselves.


Ridiculous. Just ridiculous.

And what did we do for the bachelor party?

Gun Crazy!

John said the only thing he knew Eric definitely wanted to do as part of his bachelor party was shoot something. So that’s just what we did!


Eric is certainly excited that John found us a .357 Magnum to shoot.


I didn’t know there was anything beyond Finley. There is, it turns out: Lots and lots of shotgun shells!


What’s odd about this van is, well, pretty much everything. Why is it here? How did it get here? Why was there a toy machine gun in the back seat?


The Cadwell boys inspect the damage.


Back to the bus, looking pretty tough.


And there it is: the weapon itself.


In this scene, Eric plays Clint Eastwood with earmuffs.


Brandon yells, “Pull!” and Ryan throws a very shaken up beer can into the air. Brandon successfully obliterates it. John gets covered in beer.


Eric launches a clay pigeon. John was an amazing shot. Eric did quite well, too. Josh was outstanding on one round, hitting five of six in his dentist’s work clothes. Then he went back to work. I started to wonder if his patients would be frightened or comforted if he smelled like a shotgun. If my dentist smelled like a shotgun, I would be comforted.

Kartography

After a few fun hours of shooting the crap out of stuff, we headed to IndyKart, number one choice of bachelor parties everywhere.


Ryan hearts CarnEvil: the arcade game.


Eric hearts hairnet.


Josh gets into his go-kart, joining us briefly just to beat the crap out of us before once again returning to work.


No time for losers, ’cause Josh is the Champion… of the world.

Eating Things

We took a break for dinner in between rounds of go-kartage so Josh could join us once again and beat us silly. We ate at Major’s on Clearwater.


Brandon had a problem. His shirt kept trying to float away.


Very excited, but not actually having any food yet.


Eric hearts wagon wheel.


Ryan waves to himself.

Bowling and Yelling

We had another round of go-karting and, yes, Josh did beat us all… again. Afterward, we hopped back on the mighty mighty bus to Celebrity Bowl in downtown Kennewick.


There seems to be some confusion about the automatic bowling score keeping thingy.


Some of the most brilliant guys I know, struggling to figure out how to enter their names into the bowling machine.


Brandon likes his orange ball. He’s not going to let Ryan have his orange ball.


John shows off his perfect follow through.


He’s clearly very proud of his follow through.


Ryan checks out John’s follow through. Jay zones out. Brandon gives Ryan the death glare, perhaps fearful of Ryan stealing his orange ball.


Ryan B. showed up just in time to get the second highest score of the night. (He let Eric take the top honors.)


Collin was no where near the top. But he was certainly blurry.


Ryan rejoices at having successfully stolen Brandon’s ball. He looks insane and the ball looks like a pumpkin.


Drew says, “Maybe we should put the bumpers back up.”


I yelled every time I bowled. I had fun because it was fun.

And that’s it.

“Awesome” Marketing

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I have a degree in Advertising.

This means that I was required to take Marketing 360 at Washington State University. Now, anyone who took Marketing 360 can automatically consider themselves a Marketing Expert, but I took Marketing 360 twice!*** Therefore I can authoritatively state that I am a Marketing Wizard.

Now that you have been informed of my esteemed credentials, listen to what I have to say in regards to a case study of HomeBest Brands.

HomeBest Brands: A Case Study**

It was a Thursday.

Thursday is Marketing Meeting Day at the headquarters of HomeBest Brands, Inc. in Mesopotamia, Texas. It is this meeting that my case study would like to address. I believe you’ll find this to be the turning point.

Present at this meeting were HomeBest Brands’ Chief Marketing Experts, Paul Samwords, Esther Kijjikalochsimffkr and Joseph Yellington. Alexander McHuffingtons, Vice President of Marketing led the meeting. There were two others in this meeting: a shadowy figure who sat in the only unlit corner of the room, and me. I was hiding behind the birthday cake. (Which was delicious.)

The meeting began exactly the way it ended, only somewhat different. There was joy in the room as a very hospitable Esther served cake and led everyone in singing five mirthful rounds of the “Happy Birthday” song to Paul. It wasn’t his birthday, but he liked cake, so he didn’t say anything about that.

This was a great group of friends and colleagues that had been together at HomeBest Brands for many years. They knew most of each other’s deepest fears and dreams as well as their aspirations. They had been together through hard times and good times. This was, to say the least, a close knit group. They knew everything about each other – nearly every intimate detail – except when their birthdays were. This was a mystery to each and to all.

Speaking from the perspective of the fly-on-the-wall Marketing Wizard, I must share that this was as excellent a Marketing Meeting as I had ever had the privelege to attend. Many wonderful marketing buzzwords were thrown around: “SWOT”, “distribution channel”, and, um, “SWOT”, just to name a few of the literally hundreds of phrases used from Marketing jargon. And let me tell you: there was a great deal of discussion about who, indeed, moved the cheese. It was determined to have been someone in Payroll.

After some talk at length about growing competition for grocery shelf placement, Alexander changed the topic of discussion.

“There’s something critical we all need to look at right now,” he said, as he pulled up the following PowerPoint slide.

“There’s a typo in your PowerPoint,” pointed out Joseph.

“No, there’s not,” Alexander said.

“Yes, there is.” Esther said.

“Where?” Alexander said, growing irritated at this distraction.

“It says, ‘Profist’ instead of ‘Profits’,” Margaretta said.

“What are you doing here, Margaretta? This is a Marketing Meeting – get back to Payroll!” Alexander’s voice intensified. “Oh— and we’re going to have words later about the cheese-moving debacle!”

Alexander returned to his place near the projection.

“Can we forget about the typo for now?!”

“Sure,” said Esther.

“I’m agreeable to that,” said Joseph.

“I’ve made typos in PowerPoint before,” said Paul.

“Yes, we all have, haven’t we, Joseph?” Esther said.

“You just get so used to Microsoft Word’s AutoComplete feature and then you go to PowerPoint and it doesn’t employ the same feature,” said Paul.

“Exactly! That’s what does it to me!” said Joseph, “You really hit the nail on the head, Paul, to use a familiar but too often used cliche.”

“It’s actually redundant to say, ‘too-often used cliche’,” said Esther. “A cliche is, by definition, too often used. That’s what makes it cliche.”

“Yes, you’re right, Esther,” Joseph said. “I apologize.”

Alexander felt like he was losing control of the meeting. He stepped forward toward the table where everyone was seated and slammed his fist down on the table.

“People! The board says if we don’t turn this thing around el pronto…” Alexander hesitated, sensing the tension within him build.

“If we can’t get profits back up,” Alexander continued, “the entire marketing department is out of here… and we’ll all be unemployed within the month.”

A meeting that had begun with the rousing, soul-lifting joy of belting out the “Happy Birthday” song was suddenly drained of its enthusiasm. Paul’s pulse raced in the panic of potential unemployment. Esther sank dismally in her seat as she imagined being forever branded as a “failure” by her sister-in-law. Joseph quickly excused himself to use the restroom. (But he was really getting candy. Please don’t tell anyone: he asked me to keep it a secret.)

Each of the Marketing Experts sat for nearly a minute in silence, considering their fate.

Alexander didn’t have anything else to say – and he certainly didn’t have any ideas. To him, his career was over, his life was over, and this meeting was certainly over.

But the meeting wasn’t over.

The dark figure in the darkest corner of the room stood up and walked into the light. Ellis R. Aftershave was HomeBest’s Consulting Marketing Wizard and he had a Plan. He also smelled like an odd mixture of Vick’s Vapor Rub and sausage, but that’s sort of irrelevant.

As Ellis approached the front of the table, Joseph returned to the meeting room with Skittles in his left pocket and Peanut Butter M&Ms in his right pocket. (Shh!)

Ellis inserted a CD into the laptop running the PowerPoint projection and clicked the mouse a couple of times. Immediately the following picture was displayed on the screen.

“Do you see this packaging?” Ellis asked. “This sucks. It’s boring!”

“Hey!” said Paul, feeling quite defensive all of a sudden. “What about that metallic blue stripe? That’s pretty sweet! Metallic blue stripes are all the rage I hear.”

“Do you know what your problem is?” Ellis asked the group.

“I’m an alcoholic?” guessed Joseph.

“Besides that,” said Ellis.

Silence filled the room.

“Think hard,” said Ellis.

Silence filled the room again. I snuck another peice of cake.

“No clue.” Alexander finally said. “What’s our problem?”

“Here’s your problem,” said Ellis. “You’re just not awesome enough!”

Eyes around the table started lighting up.

“We really aren’t that awesome, are we?” Esther said to Paul.

“No, we’re not,” said Paul.

I was in awe. This Marketing Wizard had zeroed in on the most critical failing of this group’s marketing.

“Okay, hotshot,” challenged Alexander. “So you’ve identified the problem. What the heck is your solution?”

“This,” Ellis said.

“Ooh!” said Esther.

“That’s incredible!” said Paul.

“The most amazing marketing idea ever!” said Joseph.

“Wow! Let’s see Ziploc and Glad compete with that crap!” said Alexander.

“You’re wanted on line 5, Joseph,” said Margaretta.

“Get back to Payroll, Margaretta!” yelled Alexander.

…

Yes, that meeting was the turning point for HomeBest Brands, Inc., but it was also a turning point in the use of the word “Awesome”.

And that, to me, is the real victory.

Also: the cake was fantastic.

…

Notes:

*** I wrote down the ending time of the final instead of the start time. The final was a significant enough portion of the grade that I went from an A to a C-, which was just low enough to be able to repeat it. I didn’t go to class the second time around but that doesn’t count, right?

** I made this all up. (Except the pictures of the HomeBest products.)

Unbelievable Seagull Picture

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My friends, Brian and Beth, jetted back from their two week vacation in Japan on Monday. Kristi and I looked through dozens of pictures with them today. Being great camera folks, there were some fun and neat pictures, mostly impressive shrines, beautiful gardens, and hilarious Engrish sightings, as well as a few good samples of Japanese food, culture, and animal life.

This one floored me:

(See full-size 1600 x 1200 original)

Seriously. Can you believe this picture? I still can’t.

If you’re skeptical it might have been doctored, look closely and note the shadow on Beth’s face. Wow.

I wish I had a pet seagull. I really do.

I would name him “Buckets”.

Snowy O’Legless the Carjacker

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Snowy O’Legless the Carjacker
See more pictures here.

It snowed and I had fun.

Steve‘s friend and fellow contributor, Malin says that usually when it comes to the Tri-Cities, “You can’t spell ‘no’ without ‘snow’!” But it did snow. And it did stay.

I had a very slidey time driving home last night, and it wasn’t because I can’t drive in the snow! Okay, it is. But that’s really beside the point, isn’t it? That’s why I married me a Spokane girl! And she’s not just a Spokane girl! Okay, she is. But again: beside the point. When will you leave me alone and let me finish!

Anyway, it snowed. Did I mention that? And it wasn’t messing around. Not one little bit. But I was messing around! (See inset photo.)

There was a group of us eating lunch at our friends’ house during the day Saturday. My brother, Justin, and I had to leave earlier than everyone else, so we headed out to our car.

It’s pretty standard in the Tri-Cities to get excited about the snow every time you go outside because it pretty much snows once a year here. Or less. That being said, I was giddy. Not schoolgirl giddy, but more horselike. I grabbed six and a half handfuls of the stuff dreams are made of – with the express intent of decking Justin with it. But, darn it! He got into his car and locked the door.

What was I to do with the four gallons of snow still in my grasp? I glanced around, trying to see if there was anything fun I could throw it at. And there I saw my friend Sam’s car.

“Aha!” I said.

That’s what I said. I really said it out loud, too.

I ran to Sam’s car, quite excited to throw snow inside it. But then a thought occurred to me! Who in the world invented scarfs? And then another thought occurred to me: How do you even spell the plural form of “scarf”? Scarves? That sounds like a crazy snowboard maneuver.

Suddenly it dawned on me that I was doing way too much thinking and that I was still standing there with a snowball the size of a child’s carseat.

And then a great idea dawned on me! I would make a snowman in Sam’s front seat! And then I would name him Snowy O’Legless the Carjacker. And, well, that’s pretty much what I did.

Boy, it sure took me a long time to tell you what you already guessed by looking at the picture, didn’t it?

And also, I like my new phone. If you like the picture, write my phone a love note. I’ll be sure it gets it. Unless you’re some kind of sicko.

[An apology must now be made for the excess in exclamation marks, italics, and use of the phrase "beside the point". Grammarians willing to fill out a brief form, available herewill be issued rebate checks. And free french fries!]

Merry Christmas! (from Adam & Kristi, Not PayLess)

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Here’s to hoping that you are enjoying this Christmas season. Kristi and I had some fun sledding yesterday with the college group we lead, Velocity. The snow was rock-hard ice-coated, but it was still a blast. Plus, I made the overwhelmingly embarassing mistake of thinking that Spout Springs was in Washington State, when it’s an hour past the state line. I was almost tackled for pumping my own gas. After I read the $50+ total on the pump, I really wished someone would have tackled me. Boy, I’m glad I don’t own a Suburban. I do wish I owned a sense of geography. Maybe you have one I could borrow.

Merry Christmas! (From PayLess) Merry Christmas!

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I have no idea what possessed me to make this at 11:30 on Sunday night, but since I did, I figured I would share it with you all. Actually, the thought just hit me suddenly and I couldn’t stop laughing until I finished photoshopping it together.

And by the way, it’s a little known fact that the day after the day after the day after Thanksgiving is the biggest photoshopping day of the year! Thought you might like to know.

Um, well, anyway…

I hope you’re having an incredible holiday season! Maybe this will help you gear up for Christmas…? (But probably not.)

Firefox’s Super Speed Enhanement

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After talking with a good friend about anticipating the release of Half Life 2 I decided to check out some of the movies and stuff released to promote the game. Now as many of you may know looking for these kinds of files usually ends you up in outrageously long queue lines and even longer slow downloads. So before Bible study tonight I went ahead and jumped in line for some huge 700 MB trailer or something. I expected to come home to find myself still in line or just beginning an incredibly slow download. Instead, I found something entirely different.

When I got home I found the download manager open asking me how it should handle the incoming file. I was grateful that I had made it past the line and I told it to just save it to the desktop. As soon as I had clicked the ok button the download started at completely unbelievable speeds! It seemed to instantly download 150 MB of the file! It was super cool! So here’s the proof and just an overall neat picture to show my dialup friends.

I Found My Digital Camera!

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I found my digital camera under the seat of a car that I’m trying to sell because it blew into a million peices. (All it left was the seat and my camera apparently.) Well, being out of the habit of taking photographs, I decided to immediately celebrate my joy by taking pictures of my wonderful wife. Because she hates to have her picture taken. By me. Anyone else, she doesn’t seem to mind… but me? She runs. She hides. She yells, “I hate you!” No, I kid. But seriously, she hates me.

Things

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Adam was kind enough to show me how to make things better. Like putting pictures in my posts! And what better pictures to put in my posts that those pictures that my sisters take of my cat? None, there are no better pictures to put.

Under the pressure of a friend and extreme boredom, I decided to make an animation with Flash. I think that it turned out good, although it be a bit twisted and probably downright evil, but isn’t that a requirement of a Flash animation? Anways, you can go ahead and check it out at steve.mathcaddy.com

Also, one day my mother and sisters went for a walk and something followed them home. Check that out here in Photo Mojo.

Yo!

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I think that this must be the “deluxe” version of Microsoft’s Office flagship product. Don’t click on the link if you are offended by mild language, even though it is funny as crap. However, for those who ARE offended by language, please click here. Thank you.