Monday is my day off. I usually don’t use it very well… at all.

Take last Monday, for instance. As I started out the day, I had five things I wanted to get done– all of them for sheer enjoyment’s sake. I wanted to (1) watch a video of my cousin Steve teaching, (2) read part of a couple books, (3) listen to some new music, (4) learn a new song on my guitar, and, most importantly, (5) something else I can’t remember because it’s not that important right now.

Yes, those all sound like wonderful things to do on a lazy day off while my wife is off at school and I’m sitting around the house wearing pajama pants and a funny t-shirt that I am the only one laughing at.

But I didn’t do any of them.

So what did I do instead?!

I played the brand new FIFA 2006 on my Xbox. All day. It was an amazing accomplishment, when I think about it. It’s been a long time since I played video games regularly and it’s been ages since I actually went on a binge.

So, today, instead of frittering away the hours trying to set up the perfect cross from Rooney to Ruud, I am going to work today on finishing what I’ve started, as I have scattered around the house and various “drafts” folders piles of unfinished business.

FIFA 2006 and Man. U can wait a few more Mondays.

I have a theory and it’s probably wrong. Or boring.

But I’m already writing about it, so what the heck…

My theory is this: People who do specific things very well are either normal, stable people who work very hard and practice a great deal or they are rabid, mildly insane and extremely eccentric people who are also phenomenally gifted.

See the diagram below:

This is certainly a very limited diagram. There are, of course, more than four quadrants of people. It’s totally silly to limit the vast number of people out there to just four categories. There’s like five!

I fall into that small, unnamed category of those who are rabid, mildly insane, extremely eccentric people who are not phenomenally gifted, but don’t practice either. Thankfully, I have taken care of the rabies issue. For now.

But seriously, here’s the problem: I am a dabbling jackass of all trades. (All trades except blacksmithery, that is. Bloody anvils!) As soon as something I’m working in or on gets too difficult, I find a new hobby or skill to take up.

There are several things that have haunted me for many years. One is this creepy ghost named Mr. Charlesworth Richenbacher. But he and I have been getting along for some time, so that’s really not a problem. But the other thing that has haunted me for so long has been my inability to practice things once reaching an operating level of proficiency.

For example, after playing guitar long enough, I could play most of the basic chords and all of the uncomplicated barre chords quite easily. At that point, my development as a guitar player choked, wheezed, and sputtered to a stop. When I could hack together a web page designed entirely in notepad without it looking horrible, I stopped working on my html and css skills. Same goes for Photoshop, Premiere, and a huge number of software titles, as well as the Linux and Mac operating systems.

More important to me than any other skill is writing, but I plateaued there as well and stopped practicing.

once I reached the point in college where I could crank out in 24 straight hours a high quality full term paper with research, full citations and multiple revisions, I stopped working on my writing. After I finished college, I didn’t write anything.

Unfortunately, when I was in second grade, after reading Alexander Key’s Sprockets, I determined that I would practice writing every single day of my life. Shortly thereafter, I signed my name in blood on the back inside cover of Beverly Cleary’s Dear Mr. Henshaw. And the blood’s now about as crusty as my un-practiced writing has gotten.

Today, however, I have decided to make good on the committment I put myself to so many years ago. I am going to write something every day. To keep myself accountable, I am going to post something every day. I won’t necessarily post what I write, as a lot of it will probably suck ass. But I will do my best to post something just so I can keep track of my progress.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll be the next Steve Geluso!

I read! And drank coffee!!

I love to read and I always carry around a blue backpack crammed with books. It occasionally drives my wife crazy when we go places and I have to take books with me. And what really gets her goat is when I go to Starbucks 25 days a month and sit and read while drinking a four-dollar coffee, which I did most of the summer. (Double-tall, extra-foam, vanilla latte, please.) It kills her to imagine spending a hundred bucks a month on a non-flammable liquid. But what’s she gonna do? She already married me! Ha, ha, sucker!

Sheesh! I was kidding! Ouch! Stop throwing portable electronics devices at me, Kristi!

Most of the time I read books, they are work / ministry related. but I do throw in some for-pleasure only reading in every once in a while. Here are two of the books that I really enjoyed and what I thought about what I read:

The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

In The Idiot, Dostoyevsky set out to place the ideal of Christ into the person of a modern man, his character, Prince Myshkin. Through hundreds of situations, Dostoyevsky seems to use this interesting concept not to give us a cheesy Russian “What would Jesus do?” but to demonstrate how radically juxtaposed our modern culture is to the teachings of Jesus.

Sometimes Dostoyevsky executes his goal masterfully, as he does in an early account of Prince Myshkin and a poor outcast girl named Marie. Occasionally he’s not so masterful, but overall, he gives a great deal to think about. A multitude of powerful statements are made throughout the novel.

This book took me longer to read than any novel I’ve ever read. Yes, it was a lengthy book, but the greatest difficulty was in understanding who was who. Russian names were invented for the torture of Western minds. Simply getting through the first forty pages took me two weeks and extensive note-taking in the margins to track who was who.

Once I had done the work in those early pages, the rest seemed to flow quite well. I had the wonderful joy of reading this book and discussing it with my grandfather as he was also reading it.

Dostoyevsky was an interesting character. Most of his books were published as serial novels and he was paid by the page, leading to quite lengthy descriptions of people and events as well as some additional plot lines that weren’t essential to the story. Reading this book was very much entering into the world of 19th Century Russia, as the extent of the descriptions made for an immersed view of Russian life, culture, and society.

A New Kind of Christian by Brian McLaren

If you are a Christian and are up for a challenge in your thinking, read this book. Although instead of challenging my thinking, it really affirmed some of the thinking I’d already been doing. It was great for me to come across this book because it actually helped me to articulate many things that I have come to think and believe.

I’m personally so exhausted with the little games that Christians play or with politicizing what was a completely non-political movement. I personally can’t stand how much time, energy and money is wasted on what really comes down to Christian “entertainment”, when there are far greater needs in this world.

McLaren gives a discussion of some of the deep, troubling questions of modern Christianity in the form of a novel. He offers so much hope for new thinking in Christianity — which is really a return to old thinking.

I rode a motorcycle!

Finally!

Remember this and this a few months ago? [“Adventures in Not Buying a Motorcycle” by me and “Adventures in Not Getting a Motorcycle to Run” by Eric]

It all started with almost blowing up my engine but soon I was looking for a new ride - or at least a temporary one while I waited for my car to get fixed.

Eventually, after looking at a number of different options, I went with the free one. My friend John offered to let me ride a bike of his that he wasn’t using. I tried really hard to say no, but I really didn’t come close at all. I said, “Holy shmokes! Heck yes!” (Shmokes?)

It did take a while to get the crazy thing to work, but eventually Eric got the darn thing to run! And run it did! I was cruising up and down the streets. Sometimes I even drove in the correct lane!

Woo! It was fun!

Last week I was told that one of my best friends fell off a roof while he was painting for his summer job and cracked his head open. He was airlifted so Seattle and was preparing for operation the next day. He couldn’t feel anything below his chest and the doctors told him that he had a 50% chance of being paralyzed. I heard all that before I went to church camp. Now I had a pretty good time at camp and the realism of the injury hadn’t really set in yet. We were all told at camp that when we got back home after experiencing the spiritual high at camp that we would be slammed with problems and stuff bringing you down as soon as you got home. Well, that was true. When I got back I heard that after the operation he was paralyzed from the chest down and the doctors don‚Äôt think that he will ever walk again. If you have any spare time in your day maybe you could just stop for a second and put in a good word for Nate Higgins with God, Buddha, the Irish or who ever you think can give him the support that he will need to get through this. Thanks.

Well, technically, neither do I. I’m actually in Daejeon right now, about 3 hours south of Seoul. I’m here for a research exchange program between Georgia Tech and KAIST that will last about 6 weeks. In this time I’ve met with a few…incidents that I feel are worthy of mention. Here’s a few tips for you to think about the next time you travel:

Tip 1. Assume that your AC adapter is a bomb

In most cases you’ll be right, and thankful. I made the mistake of thinking that Compaq’s “universe” implied by the use of the word “universal ac adapter” extended beyond the shores of Kansas, an error that could well have been my last. These units are black boxes of venomous death waiting to strike. White if you have a powerbook. Mine fortunately decided to go off while I was at the lab, and if it hadn’t been for a heroic LG Flatron monitor, I might have sustained some form of moderate injury. Instead, I found myself rationing battery life (2 hrs idle time over 5 days, less if you move your mouse) and searching for a US adapter through every Korean merchant that had a pulse. Needless to say I located a match, but don’t think I haven’t learned from this experience. Even now, as I type, I keep one unwavering eye fixed on my new unit in the corner … behind the stack of monitors.

Tip 2. Keep telling yourself, “I love being screwed!”

If you do this, you’ll save yourself from blood pressure trouble. I gave up trying to blend in long ago. Try 20 years (it’s hard passing as Norwegian with black hair). So it’s no surprise that they see me coming. Korea has many traditional markets that still operate on the bargain system. If you’re not prepared to challenge the price, you’d better be prepared to pay up to 3 times as much. What amuses me (bwahahah), are that some merchants don’t even try to hide their greed. They love knowing that you know that they are stringing you. For example, I was trying to get a pair of flip-flops for the rainy season (typhoon) and the gent in front of me gets a pair for 2000 won. But when it’s my turn, I’m asked for 5000! What gets me though, is that when I asked him about the price hike, he simply grins and nods! Bastard!

Tip 3. Tourist centers are where locals go to see tourists.

Makes sense, right? Lee and I wanted to make sure that we saw as much of S. Korea’s culture as possible during our stay. Last Saturday we decided to walk to the city Tourist Center, only ~5 miles away. Unfortunately we couldn’t take a bus because it’s quite difficult deciphering the route map, and we had never been there before. This was before we knew about the typhoon, and so we were quite soaked by the time we made it there. Once in the center, I found two English translators each commanding a vocabulary a goldfish would be ashamed of. Using a little persuasive reasoning (they had to pry me off them with a broom handle) I managed to get some complimentary postcards of the Korean countryside we would apparently never see. I guess I can superimpose us for the album.

Otherwise, we’re having a splendid time. Next weekend we’re going to hop a bus and ride it to the end (which should take us to the mountains). It’s just a matter of finding the right bus…

My car exploded, so now I’m getting a motorcycle. Oh, okay, it didn’t exactly explode, but it might as well have.

Anyway, I wanted to get something cheap. I found what seemed to be a really good deal on a ‘79 650 Yamaha with only 3400 miles. It was in wonderful shape and idled great, but because it hadn’t been driven in 10 years, the carbuerator was gummed up and it died every time you gave it gas. After leaving, I called and offered the guy 500 bucks, but I didn’t get the bike because some other guy showed up right after I left and offered him what he was asking ($700).

Oh well. If anyone finds a decent street bike for under a grand, please let me know.

As soon as humanly possible, I want to statistically increase my odds of being killed or injured (read: buy a motorcycle).

So that’s what’s in my pockets. My “Super Star” keys (inherited from the last person who owned my car), an albuterol inhaler (huffin’ and puffin’ and blowing nowhere), my Motorola MPx200 (slowly going the way of the buffalo), my iPod (longtime listener, first-time caller), and my headphones du jour, these little Sony in-ear wrap arounds (plus wires!). Oh - and my gigantic beast of a wallet that has dislocated a few of my lower ribs.

And that’s the bare minimum! Sometimes I carry even more!

I think I just notice what’s in my pockets more as spring creeps toward us, as happens to be the case right now. See, during winter, I don’t worry about being all pocketed out. I get a couple of free ones in my jacket! But then comes the sun and my jacket goes in the closet, while all of the stuff in my jacket goes into my little pants pockets.

I begin to look like I have actually shoved cargo into my cargo pants. I know cargo pants are just trendy because they have a bunch of neat little pockety things, but I actually use mine. In fact, when it gets hot, I have some old cargo pants I made into cut-off shorts just so I have enough pockets in the summer!

So what do I plan to do about all this?

Carry ghetto headphones! Replace my phone with a giant old-school two-handed cell phone! Pack around all of the original CDs now stored in my iPod, plus a portable CD player! Buy one of those giant key rings - and add fifty keys to it! And strap a bottle of oxygen to my back! And never ever ever throw a receipt away for the rest of my life!

Or maybe I’ll just wait for CargoPants 2004 to come out. I hear they have a zipper behind your knee that allows you to dump stuff in.

In case you didn’t know it… Tamlyn’s daddy made that nifty penguin a coupla years ago. That @#$*! stupid thing kept creaming me in Half-Life… just gliding around with no animation whatsover, just lookin’ all penguiny (as well as creepy and menacing, I might add). The best part, of course, was that the penguin was toasting my cookies on a custom map of the house we were living in… complete with destructable countertops and a guy named Josh who would suddenly jump out every once in a while and eat your pizza.

First of all, thanks to everyone for signing the guestbook. I’ll make sure that’s one of the first things Tamlyn learns to read. Maybe. In any case, today I tried to sign up for poor people’s healthcare for kids. It turns out that every state has a program for the poor (me) that covers all the medical bills of children up until the age of 18. No, I fib, up until 5. The catch?? You have to be poor. Not just poor guys, poooooor. Like, making $1200 a month with a wife, a newborn, and rent at $900, insurance at $100, telephone … ya, poor. But dammit, my kid’s gonna have the best looking teeth and skin your money can buy. Seriously though, thanks to everyone for paying their taxes. Some of that money is used for the forces of good. Captain Poverty out.