I have a degree in Advertising.

This means that I was required to take Marketing 360 at Washington State University. Now, anyone who took Marketing 360 can automatically consider themselves a Marketing Expert, but I took Marketing 360 twice!*** Therefore I can authoritatively state that I am a Marketing Wizard.

Now that you have been informed of my esteemed credentials, listen to what I have to say in regards to a case study of HomeBest Brands.

HomeBest Brands: A Case Study**

It was a Thursday.

Thursday is Marketing Meeting Day at the headquarters of HomeBest Brands, Inc. in Mesopotamia, Texas. It is this meeting that my case study would like to address. I believe you’ll find this to be the turning point.

Present at this meeting were HomeBest Brands’ Chief Marketing Experts, Paul Samwords, Esther Kijjikalochsimffkr and Joseph Yellington. Alexander McHuffingtons, Vice President of Marketing led the meeting. There were two others in this meeting: a shadowy figure who sat in the only unlit corner of the room, and me. I was hiding behind the birthday cake. (Which was delicious.)

The meeting began exactly the way it ended, only somewhat different. There was joy in the room as a very hospitable Esther served cake and led everyone in singing five mirthful rounds of the “Happy Birthday” song to Paul. It wasn’t his birthday, but he liked cake, so he didn’t say anything about that.

This was a great group of friends and colleagues that had been together at HomeBest Brands for many years. They knew most of each other’s deepest fears and dreams as well as their aspirations. They had been together through hard times and good times. This was, to say the least, a close knit group. They knew everything about each other – nearly every intimate detail – except when their birthdays were. This was a mystery to each and to all.

Speaking from the perspective of the fly-on-the-wall Marketing Wizard, I must share that this was as excellent a Marketing Meeting as I had ever had the privelege to attend. Many wonderful marketing buzzwords were thrown around: “SWOT”, “distribution channel”, and, um, “SWOT”, just to name a few of the literally hundreds of phrases used from Marketing jargon. And let me tell you: there was a great deal of discussion about who, indeed, moved the cheese. It was determined to have been someone in Payroll.

After some talk at length about growing competition for grocery shelf placement, Alexander changed the topic of discussion.

“There’s something critical we all need to look at right now,” he said, as he pulled up the following PowerPoint slide.

“There’s a typo in your PowerPoint,” pointed out Joseph.

“No, there’s not,” Alexander said.

“Yes, there is.” Esther said.

“Where?” Alexander said, growing irritated at this distraction.

“It says, ‘Profist’ instead of ‘Profits’,” Margaretta said.

“What are you doing here, Margaretta? This is a Marketing Meeting – get back to Payroll!” Alexander’s voice intensified. “Oh— and we’re going to have words later about the cheese-moving debacle!”

Alexander returned to his place near the projection.

“Can we forget about the typo for now?!”

“Sure,” said Esther.

“I’m agreeable to that,” said Joseph.

“I’ve made typos in PowerPoint before,” said Paul.

“Yes, we all have, haven’t we, Joseph?” Esther said.

“You just get so used to Microsoft Word’s AutoComplete feature and then you go to PowerPoint and it doesn’t employ the same feature,” said Paul.

“Exactly! That’s what does it to me!” said Joseph, “You really hit the nail on the head, Paul, to use a familiar but too often used cliche.”

“It’s actually redundant to say, ‘too-often used cliche’,” said Esther. “A cliche is, by definition, too often used. That’s what makes it cliche.”

“Yes, you’re right, Esther,” Joseph said. “I apologize.”

Alexander felt like he was losing control of the meeting. He stepped forward toward the table where everyone was seated and slammed his fist down on the table.

“People! The board says if we don’t turn this thing around el pronto…” Alexander hesitated, sensing the tension within him build.

“If we can’t get profits back up,” Alexander continued, “the entire marketing department is out of here… and we’ll all be unemployed within the month.”

A meeting that had begun with the rousing, soul-lifting joy of belting out the “Happy Birthday” song was suddenly drained of its enthusiasm. Paul’s pulse raced in the panic of potential unemployment. Esther sank dismally in her seat as she imagined being forever branded as a “failure” by her sister-in-law. Joseph quickly excused himself to use the restroom. (But he was really getting candy. Please don’t tell anyone: he asked me to keep it a secret.)

Each of the Marketing Experts sat for nearly a minute in silence, considering their fate.

Alexander didn’t have anything else to say – and he certainly didn’t have any ideas. To him, his career was over, his life was over, and this meeting was certainly over.

But the meeting wasn’t over.

The dark figure in the darkest corner of the room stood up and walked into the light. Ellis R. Aftershave was HomeBest’s Consulting Marketing Wizard and he had a Plan. He also smelled like an odd mixture of Vick’s Vapor Rub and sausage, but that’s sort of irrelevant.

As Ellis approached the front of the table, Joseph returned to the meeting room with Skittles in his left pocket and Peanut Butter M&Ms in his right pocket. (Shh!)

Ellis inserted a CD into the laptop running the PowerPoint projection and clicked the mouse a couple of times. Immediately the following picture was displayed on the screen.

“Do you see this packaging?” Ellis asked. “This sucks. It’s boring!”

“Hey!” said Paul, feeling quite defensive all of a sudden. “What about that metallic blue stripe? That’s pretty sweet! Metallic blue stripes are all the rage I hear.”

“Do you know what your problem is?” Ellis asked the group.

“I’m an alcoholic?” guessed Joseph.

“Besides that,” said Ellis.

Silence filled the room.

“Think hard,” said Ellis.

Silence filled the room again. I snuck another peice of cake.

“No clue.” Alexander finally said. “What’s our problem?”

“Here’s your problem,” said Ellis. “You’re just not awesome enough!”

Eyes around the table started lighting up.

“We really aren’t that awesome, are we?” Esther said to Paul.

“No, we’re not,” said Paul.

I was in awe. This Marketing Wizard had zeroed in on the most critical failing of this group’s marketing.

“Okay, hotshot,” challenged Alexander. “So you’ve identified the problem. What the heck is your solution?”

“This,” Ellis said.

“Ooh!” said Esther.

“That’s incredible!” said Paul.

“The most amazing marketing idea ever!” said Joseph.

“Wow! Let’s see Ziploc and Glad compete with that crap!” said Alexander.

“You’re wanted on line 5, Joseph,” said Margaretta.

“Get back to Payroll, Margaretta!” yelled Alexander.

…

Yes, that meeting was the turning point for HomeBest Brands, Inc., but it was also a turning point in the use of the word “Awesome”.

And that, to me, is the real victory.

Also: the cake was fantastic.

…

Notes:

*** I wrote down the ending time of the final instead of the start time. The final was a significant enough portion of the grade that I went from an A to a C-, which was just low enough to be able to repeat it. I didn’t go to class the second time around but that doesn’t count, right?

** I made this all up. (Except the pictures of the HomeBest products.)