So that’s what’s in my pockets. My “Super Star” keys (inherited from the last person who owned my car), an albuterol inhaler (huffin’ and puffin’ and blowing nowhere), my Motorola MPx200 (slowly going the way of the buffalo), my iPod (longtime listener, first-time caller), and my headphones du jour, these little Sony in-ear wrap arounds (plus wires!). Oh – and my gigantic beast of a wallet that has dislocated a few of my lower ribs.
And that’s the bare minimum! Sometimes I carry even more!
I think I just notice what’s in my pockets more as spring creeps toward us, as happens to be the case right now. See, during winter, I don’t worry about being all pocketed out. I get a couple of free ones in my jacket! But then comes the sun and my jacket goes in the closet, while all of the stuff in my jacket goes into my little pants pockets.
I begin to look like I have actually shoved cargo into my cargo pants. I know cargo pants are just trendy because they have a bunch of neat little pockety things, but I actually use mine. In fact, when it gets hot, I have some old cargo pants I made into cut-off shorts just so I have enough pockets in the summer!
So what do I plan to do about all this?
Carry ghetto headphones! Replace my phone with a giant old-school two-handed cell phone! Pack around all of the original CDs now stored in my iPod, plus a portable CD player! Buy one of those giant key rings – and add fifty keys to it! And strap a bottle of oxygen to my back! And never ever ever throw a receipt away for the rest of my life!
Or maybe I’ll just wait for CargoPants 2004 to come out. I hear they have a zipper behind your knee that allows you to dump stuff in.