Deer Suck.
So… I traveled to and from Ye Olde Pullman easily 80 or more times during my years there (given that two of those years I was driving back and forth nearly every weekend). During that time, I never once hit a deer. I came close. Oh, yes. I came very close. I have many a swerving memory.
The top memory? My brother proved his hours and hours spent mastering Gran Turismo 3 were not for naught as he dodged: (a) deer #1, (b) deer #2, (c) semi truck dropping bales of hay as it swerved to miss deer #1 and #2, and (d) bales of hay.
Nope. Not once. Never hit a deer during all that time.
The suckers heard me coming this time. I believe they plotted their revenge on my way to Pullman… and they exacted it on my way home.
I’m not exactly sure why they exacted their revenge by allowing my wife to plow over one of their kind… but you never know. Deer are sneaky. Sneaky… and stupid.
Yeah… so 10 miles outside of Washtucna, there I am sitting in the passenger seat reading a book when Kristi SLAMS on the brakes. I see headlights ahead and think, “uh oh… I’m toast.” Then I notice something friendlier than a car hurtling at us in our lane.
A deer! How friendly! Come here, deer! I don’t want to hurt you… I just want to pet you! Come closer! Come a little closer! Wait!! Too close!!!
Wham.
Deer + Car = no bumper, no radiator, and a headlight that is shining at the satelllites.
Oh yeah. And it also equals no deer.
And me freaking out. It also equals me freaking out. My only reaction (besides thinking we were going to die) was, “Go! Go! Go!” and “Did you see the hooves go flying off that sucker?”
Of course, I failed to realize that it was the whole front of our car that went flying… not hooves. Silly me.
(Now that I think about it… why did I yell “Go! Go! Go!” at Kristi? Did I think the deer was going to chase after us?)
We did just “Go! Go! Go!” though… we went the 10 miles to Washtucna. Upon arriving, we discovered THE FRONT OF OUR CAR WAS GONE! Missing! Shoot the coop! ? Flew? the coop? I don’t know. Whatever quaint phrase you choose, it just was not there. Period.
Yeah…. so that sucked.
Venison anyone?